Monday, August 31, 2015

10 Steps to Empower Your Child Against Bullying


10 Steps to empower your child against bullying heavenissmilingabove.blogspot.com

10 Steps to Empower Your Child Against Bullying


It's that time of year again! Time to go back to school, back to the classroom, back to the playground, back to more responsibility. For many children this is exciting - even if they wish summer could last just a bit longer. For other children, school is a source of great anxiety or may become one because of the prevalence of bullying.

Stop It! Dieter F. Uchtdorf 10 Steps to empower your child against bullying heavenissmilingabove.blogspot.com

I'm grateful schools, at least in my area, have been more diligent in addressing bullying. But regardless of what is taught in schools, the home is still the most powerful place to learn with the parent being the most influential teacher.

Here are 10 steps you can take to empower your child against bullying. I've included links to other great sites, too. Teach them at the dinner table, during breakfast, or in the car on the way to school or extracurricular activities. If you have a scheduled weekly family night, the videos below will really bring it home for children and teenagers. I encourage you to take the time to watch!



Be Strong!



1. READ CUES: As parents and caregivers, we are our children's best line of defense for things that go wrong in their lives. It's often a lot easier to dig into a child's day when they are in elementary school. Ask them about their day. Use creative questioning so it doesn't come across as grilling. One of the greatest questions I recently came across went something like this: "If you could send anyone to outer space never to be seen again, who would it be?" With teenagers, reading their body language might be an easier way to tell if something is wrong. Take whatever time and gentle methods are necessary to understand if and why your child is anxious or moody. {The Body Language of Your Teenager}

2. NEVER DISMISS A SITUATION: If your child tells you someone has been picking on them or excluding them, realize that if you don't do something about it, chances are good no one else will. It takes courage for a child to speak to an adult - even a parent. If a parent minimizes the situation, there could be a very good chance, the child will not reach out to another adult. They need to know you will listen and take appropriate steps to make them feel safe. Likewise, if you are aware your child is a bully, please don't ignore it thinking he or she will outgrow it or it is harmless. Chances are very good you could be held liable for your child's behavior and any damage they do. Bullying is being seen more and more as a crime. {Should Parents Be Legally Responsible for Children's Serious Crimes}

3. TELLING IS DIFFERENT THAN TATTLING: We all dislike tattling - the seemingly ever-present desire a child has to get another one in trouble. When a child tells, however, he or she is trying to get help to solve a problem. There is a huge difference here that children need to know. Tattling is annoying and often frowned on. But telling is an important safety skill. It is always okay to tell someone about a problem you need help with. {The Difference Between Telling and Tattling}

4. PRACTICE "TARGET DENIAL": In other words, teach your child that if he knows he will be picked on in a certain place, don't be in that place! If a bully is attacking with words in a hallway, help your child role play quickly walking by, confidently ignoring the bully. If the bully is on the playground, play somewhere else. Avoid situations where your child is alone. Bullies often target children who are weak and by themselves. {Face Bullying With Confidence}

5. ROLE PLAY: This goes along with the one above, but putting your child into an uncomfortable position within the safety of your own home so she can practice negating the situation can be one of her most powerful defenses. Walking into a bad situation blind is one of the most helpless ways to live. If she has already practiced leaving, feeling secure about herself, and telling the right authority, she will be much more confident and less likely to panic and freeze. {More than Just a Game: The Power of Play}

6. KNOW WHO YOUR ALLIES ARE: Teach your child to go to an adult who can help. That could be another parent at the park, a teacher at school, a neighbor, an older teenager at the bus stop, the bus driver, etc. Make sure you know who is on your side and on your child's side in all the places they frequent. Then make sure he knows. If an adult who should will not help, then it is your job to take it to a higher authority: a principal, the bus service manager, and, as a last but sometimes necessary resort, the police - especially if the abuse is physical or life-threatening. {Building Assertiveness in 4 Steps}

7. STAND UP FOR SOMEONE: Teach your child it is okay to stand up for someone if they feel safe enough to do so. Telling a bully to "knock it off" or "stop it" is brave and helpful. She could even get in the middle and escort the one being bullied away. If she does not feel safe enough to do this, then teach her to get an adult on behalf of the child being bullied. Doing nothing is as if she condones the behavior. Above all, your child's safety comes first. But ignoring a bad situation is not an option. {7 Skills for Teaching Your Child to Stand Up to Bullies}

10 Steps to empower your child against bullying heavenissmilingabove.blogspot.com

8. ATTITUDE IS EVERYTHING: Endow your child with love and confidence. Even normally shy children can draw on a reservoir of ingrained strength when needed. It's hard to grow a thick skin if hurtful words are being thrown like stones. But if he can pretend he has a shield on, those mean words can mentally be turned into declarations of self-confidence. "I hate you" can become "I am a good person." "You're ugly" can be "my mom thinks I am a beautiful girl." If your child is confident in who they are, there is a smaller chance bullying will leave lasting harmful effects. My children have rings with shields on them. They are engraved with the letters CTR. It stands for Choose the Right. If a visual reminder is what your child needs to remember to choose the right attitude, then I would suggest checking these rings out. They are reasonably priced and come in all sorts of colors and designs. I am not being compensated in any way. {The CTR Ring Shop}

9. PRIVACY IS LIMITED: In my house, my daughters know their dad and I will be checking their social media accounts and their phones. We have their passwords, their emails - sent and received - come into my inbox, their text messages and app chats are required reading material for us and not allowed to be deleted until we see them. Sure, someday we will know they are mature enough to not have constant supervision. Right now, though, they are still young and learning their ways around the intense world of social cyber interaction. It is widely recognized that young tweens and teens do not have the mental brain capacity and maturity to make wise decisions all the time. Until that happens, just them knowing their accounts are going to be checked hopefully adds a sense of propriety to their conversations and activities. Not only does this protect them from repeated bullying, if that were to happen, but I can monitor any activity of their's that might cross the line. {Connect Safely}

Let us be kind 10 Steps to empower your child against bullying heavenissmilingabove.blogspot.com Dieter F. Uchtdorf


10. PRACTICE LOVE: If your child knows someone is being bullied, teach him to reach out in kindness to that person. Be a friend. If it is safe, even reaching out to a person who is a bully might soften her heart. Bullying often stems from feelings of loneliness and a lack of self-worth - especially in the younger years. Children who have friends and self-confidence are way less likely to be bullied or to bully. Choose to forgive if your child is a victim. For those who are bullied, starting the process of forgiveness early will go a long way toward healing faster. "Forgiving does mean letting go of feelings of bitterness and anger—feelings that will damage you far more than they will affect the bully." {How to Beat Bullying}

Powerful Help


BONUS! For those of you who are religious, one tactic that has brought my family much needed answers and peace in difficult situations is fasting. Denying ourselves of food and drink while in the spirit of prayer for a much-needed blessing has opened the windows of heaven like few other things for our family. If there is a serious issue with bullying in your house, prayer combined with fasting is one powerful way to seek answers and solace.

10 Steps to empower your child against bullying heavenissmilingabove.blogspot.com is this not the fast I have chosen Isaiah 58:6 11

The Videos


This first video is perfect for your elementary-aged children.



This next video comes from the perspective of an older child - suitable for middle school and high school.



Your Turn!


I would love to know if you have other ways to combat bullying or what you feel about the points mentioned already. Please leave a comment!

I pinned this here:



28 comments:

  1. Such solid advice here. Bullying has seemed to grown into a bigger monster lately or maybe our awareness of it has grown. Either way, it is a problem that we all need to do what we can to get rid of it.

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    1. I agree! Thank you for coming by and leaving such a nice comment.

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  2. These are such wonderful tips. Thank you for sharing. My oldest son is in 1st grade and unfortunately experienced some bullying last year. We practiced some of the very things you mentioned here and he continues to go to school with his head up! It can be so hard as a parent, but greater is He who is in them.

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    1. Thank you, Abby. I'm sorry to hear your son was bullied, but thankfully he had you to guide him through it! A lot of children aren't so blessed. Thanks for coming by!

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  3. These are fabulous tips and so important for us to keep in mind as children head back to school.

    I especially like the point that telling is different than tattling. Wonderful.

    Thanks for sharing.

    Wishing you a lovely evening.
    xoxo

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    1. Thank you Jennifer! I really liked that point too.

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  4. Bullying is every parent's worst nightmare. My neighbor's son quit school because he is being bullied at school. Thanks for the valuable advice. Your bonus tip is the one I needed to hear today. Tweeted this!

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    1. I'm sorry about your neighbor! How dreadful. I hope it all gets resolved. Thank you for letting me know my tip helped you!

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  5. This is such a tough topic and so hard to be a by stander when our children are struggling at school. For us the hardest part was to know when to step in as we did not want to undermine our sons belief in his own ability to deal with the situations. Parenting is not easy. thanks for tackling such a tough topic.

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    1. You are welcome. I agree. We need to give our children confidence without hovering, but sometimes we need to get involved. It's a thin line sometimes. I'm glad you commented!

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  6. GREAT post and such helpful information. I hope every parent can read this. Featuring on my FB. Carrie, A Mother's Shadow

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    1. Thanks for featuring it, Carrie! As a parent who has been there, I felt the need to get the points I loved out in one place.

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  7. You have really packed this post with solid advice! I will be passing it on. "Telling is different than tattling" is such an important distinction to make. Some children want so badly to do the "right" and avoid confrontation that they won't tell even when it would actually be in everyone's best interest in the long run to get it out in the open!

    Thank you for this.

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  8. My son is only two so I haven't had to deal with any bullying issues yet (and I hope I never do), but these are really great tips to keep in mind for the future. Pinning for sure! Thank you so much for sharing this with us at Merry Monday! :)

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    1. Thanks so much for the pin and kind words, Christine!

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  9. I remember telling our son to say hi to the bully and to be nice to them. Turns out, they could be in the same group and socialize, although they never were friends. All this happened in high school. Thanks for sharing at the #AnythingGoes Link Party.

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    1. Sometimes a friendly greeting can make all the difference in the world. Thanks for adding to the discussion, Sandy!

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  10. Wonderful points on bullying. Will share with my friends who have school going kids. Thank you for sharing with us at #HomeMattersParty .We would love to have you again next week.

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  11. This is awesome. Our kids need to know that we are there for them, sometimes it's not overtly apparent that the kids are being bullied, but you have pointed out a few things I never thought about. Teaching kids to stand for themselves and others is awesome, and if they have someone to pray to for strength and courage, even better! Great article, I hope that this reaches a lot of people and helps many kids.

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    1. Thanks so much, Nikki! Comments like yours make my day.

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  12. These are great tips! I especially love that you specified that there IS a difference between telling and tattling. Thanks so much for sharing this at Inspiration Thursday.

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    1. That point has resonated the most with people, I think. I am glad. Thanks for commenting, Lela!

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  13. Bullying is such a horrible experience for anyone to suffer especially children. You have provided some great tips here. I like that you also point out to stand up for someone who is being bullied. It isn't always easy but we do need to speak out. #Coffee&Conversation

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    1. Thank you, Sue! So glad you stopped by and added to the conversation.

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  14. Basically in schools, colleges and workplace we are suffering from bullying problems and mostly these problems are arising due to worst thoughts and worst nature. So it is our duty to teach our children about good and bad; otherwise in near future he or she will be responsible for development of bullying issues in the society. Here we take some beneficial lesson and trying to implement those lessons in our life.
    Professional Coach

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  15. Kathryn, this post is very good! Unfortunately my 11 year old had to deal with bullying already and she had such a horrible time going through it. It exists everywhere and your tips and strategies are very important and helpful! It's absolutely crucial to always talk about it at home and let them know they can talk about this with you as their parent and that they have your support, no matter what. I could write pages about this and our experience, but I won't ;) All your points are great ways of dealing with bullying, and yes, we have to teach our kids to be strong and have a strong attitude to be able to deal with it.

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